Which wolf will you feed?

As human’s it’s sometimes hard to admit that we don’t always have this thing called life figured out. Maybe it’s pride or maybe we’re just stubborn, or both. We get so stuck in our heads to a point that we manage to fake a smile and act like everything is ok, when in reality we’re dying on the inside. For some unknown reason we naturally feel like we have to hide the truth of our current mental status from the world, refusing to believe that if we let go, somebody might help us. However if we’re feeling this way we have a choice to make. We can either continue to let the inner being of our soul decay or find a way to dig ourselves out of the pit we most likely created ourselves.

So, the question is: How did I end up in this pit?

I believe the answer may stem from a number of different inputs, but ultimately it’s our output that will steer us back towards a peaceful life and dig us out of the pit.

You may now be thinking, “What kind of output?” Well, as we steer ourselves in a new direction, we must first point towards Christ, because as we have seen time and time again, we have a knack of taking ourselves in the wrong direction. It’s imperative that we allow Jesus to guide us along the way.

Ha! Makes me think of the song “Jesus Take The Wheel”.

As humorous as that is, it’s true. God didn’t create us to be perfect beings, but He created us to be dependent on Him when the way ahead is unclear. As humans, we were born into sin, which means we arrived with a flawed nature. We are going to make mistakes, we are going to sin, and we are going to have to rely on him for redemption through our repentance.

Romans 7:14-16 NLT says: “14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good.”

Here we see Paul wrestling with that human nature to sin. He explains that there is a battle going on inside of him that he sometimes loses, but the redeeming statement is that because he recognizes his sin and sees that the word of God is good, he can find his way back.

The same is true for you and me. Like I said earlier, we have a choice to make, and that all depends on what we allow ourselves to entertain… or feed, if you will.

Let me tell you a story.

An old Cherokee Indian chief was teaching his grandson about life.

He said, "A fight is going on inside me," he told the young boy, "a fight between two wolves.

The Dark one is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The Light Wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you grandson, and inside of every other person on the face of this earth.”

The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee smiled and simply said, "The one you feed."

You may have noticed I underlined “lies” and “truth”, and that is because I believe these two words are what we truly use to feed each wolf, or narrative if you will. I believe that we can make one of two choices in our present circumstance, and that is to either deny the fact of the matter before us by telling ourselves lies, such as “This is just who I am now,” or face the facts head-on and say, “If I stay in this headspace, I will lose myself completely.”

Alfred Adler once said, “Every individual acts and suffers in accordance with his peculiar teleology, which has all the inevitability of fate, so long as he does not understand it.”

“Teleology” meaning our goal-oriented purpose.

Basically he’s saying we live and struggle based on the goals we’ve set for our life, even if we don’t realize it. So, if we’re stuck in a cycle we’re unhappy with, it’s because we’re choosing to. It’s not that unhappiness is our life goal, but if we’re not careful, we can use it as the driving force toward our goal, and it becomes a byproduct of the goal.

This “goal” I keep mentioning can look different for each of us. To give an example, we can look at the book “The Courage to Be Disliked” by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. In this book, we find a young man and a philosopher debating the works of Alfred Adler. The philosopher states that the young man’s dislike for himself is a byproduct of the goal he set to not be hurt by others. He tells the young man that he chooses to dislike himself because he is worried that he will be disliked by others. So, the young man’s goal isn’t to dislike himself, his goal is to keep himself from rejection.

This brings me back to the lies and truth I mentioned earlier. As Paul stated in Romans 7, “I don’t really understand myself,” we may be struggling with the same thing. So, the question is, what is your goal? And are you being honest with yourself?

Which wolf are you feeding, the liar or the truther? (Everyone my age should get that reference… hopefully!)

Are you making choices that don’t promote productivity in your life?

Are your mistakes an excuse that prevent you from leveling up?

You see, when we decide to feed the dark wolf, we’re silently deciding to smother our progress, and sometimes that looks like going back to the same sins over and over again. We willingly shoot ourselves in the foot, because we’re secretly scared of taking the first step to a better life.

We’ve convinced ourselves that the first step toward redemption and growth is equivalent to jumping out of an airplane, and while it may feel that way, it’s just not true. The first step may feel like Mount Everest in front of you, but I promise if you’ll put one foot in front of the other over and over again, you will soon find yourself on the other side, victorious.

I don’t know what your struggles are, whether they’re sinful or not, but I do know a God that will help us overcome the obstacles of life if we will allow him to. This is what feeding the light wolf looks like. Feeding the light is accepting the truth of our current circumstances, and taking the proper steps to fix it.

It’s saying, “Yeah, I messed up, and I’ve been messing up, but if I’ll make the choice every day to be better, I will eventually get there.” And it’s praying, “Lord, I realize my mistakes, and I could really use a hand up right now. Please make me whole once again.”

Side note: Here in my hometown, there is a center for women’s continuing education. Their slogan is, “A hand up, not a handout.” The same can be said for our relationship with God. He is willing to help us out of the pit, but we must meet Him halfway and stretch our hand toward Him as well, in a willingness to work hard for our growth.

I’d like to shift, for a moment, and look into the sin aspect of this topic. It’s no surprise that sin hinders productivity, it’s almost a given. When we choose sin over our walk with God, we are keeping ourselves from the purpose He has designed for our life. Living in sin chains us to our guilt, and if left unchecked builds prison bars within our soul. Constantly turning to the things that displease God can quickly form into terrible habits, and once a habit is formed, it is not easily broken. Hence the chains and prison bars.

Proverbs 26:11 KJV puts it this way: “As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”

Simply put, the cycle of sin is eating something that makes our stomach upset, and when it comes back out, we try it again, looking for a different result.

Wait a minute! That sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Albert Einstein is often quoted to having said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

That’s insane! So, why do we keep doing it? Why do we keep repeating the same sin, and return to it hoping it doesn’t hurt us again?

Well, my friend, it’s a heart issue, and we must check the status of our heart and ask ourselves if we’ve been feeding into the lies or the truth. We must also repent. Ask yourself, have I repented? Have I truly repented, by completely turning away from this sin?

True repentance is found in choosing to turn away from sin every day. This is another way we choose which wolf to feed. Believe it or not, there is a difference between repentance and true repentance. Repentance may last for a week or a month, but true repentance becomes a change in our lifestyle.

I may receive some flack for stating that, but I’ll stand by it…

It’s easy to say something in repentance when you’re at your lowest, but true repentance is daily. It’s asking God to constantly reveal your shortcomings, so you can realign with him, even when you may feel like you haven’t done anything wrong at all.

True repentance isn’t about disaster cleanup, but preventative maintenance. It’s keeping tethered to our source of light, found in Jesus Christ.

Let me tell you another quick story.

For all you Superman fans out there, this one is for you! There is a Superman story arc that involves Superman at odds with his “Bizarro” self from an inverse world. This world is made up of all the same people, but completely opposite versions of themselves, and the villain of this story, which is surprisingly not Bizarro, is trying to merge the two worlds so they can become the “best” version of themselves.

However, before the merging of worlds can become a possibility, the villain must merge with their other half to become powerful enough for the task. Spoiler alert! It happens. We learn from this that merging with the inverse version of yourself is trouble waiting to happen. Toward the end of the story, Superman is left powerless because the villain gains parasitic powers from the merge and drains Superman of his.

For those of you that may not know, Superman draws his power directly from sunlight. With his powers currently drained, he is left unable to recharge. His only option is for his friend to fly him to space and throw him directly into the sun. (This gives sunbathing a whole new meaning!)

Almost immediately, we see Superman light up like a glowstick as he quickly reaches full power once again. After this, he defeats the villain with ease and saves not only his world, but the inverse world as well.

So, how does this apply to us? I think it’s safe to say that light and darkness cannot coexist within our spirit. Lies and truth will always be at odds, and the internal conflicts within us will always be raging until we expel it by plugging into our source of light.

You see, it wasn’t until Clark (Superman) plugged into his source that he was able to defeat his conflict.

It’s imperative that we not only repent daily, but we also spend time with God by studying His word and making time for prayer. It’s when we drift from these necessities that we begin to see old habits resurface.

I pray this helps you if you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Just know there is always a way back up, and you always have a choice.

I’ll leave you with this: Which wolf will you feed?